Cry Baby

I don't know about any of you-but when I'm pregnant my emotions are very close to the surface!! For example Wednesday night Todd and I were watching American Idol (which I've never been into before until this year) and in the bottom three where 3 girls one being Brooke White whom had never been in the bottom three before and she was very emotional. Todd looked at me and said "are you crying?" not taking my eyes off the TV to avoid eye contact I said "yes I have not idea why other than I'm pregnant!" So with that I get to the reason of my emotions today...Nicole is getting ready to turn 12 on April 26 so we have decided to start the tradition of a General Conference trip with dad at the age of twelve. Although Nicole will not be 12 for 23more days, we decided it was best to go now since we will have a week old baby for October Conference. So this morning I dropped the two of them off at the airport and after saying good bye I got back into the car to find Celion Dion (whom I have to say I love) on the radio...and I could not control the tears!! I cried the whole way home thinking about the fact that my oldest child is turning 12 and growing up to fast. All though there are days when I think she might drive me crazy...she is such a great kid over all. I'm not ready to have a mutual age child or boys calling her (which happens exactly at 3:05 everyday-20 minutes after walking in the door). I don't like thinking that on April 26 she will start wearing make-up...you have to be 12 to officially wear make-up in this house and she is counting the days, and that I had to buy her a training bra!! I'm not old enough to guide a daughter through this or at least not mature enough. So needless to say I cried and cried until I found myself driving through Sonic to get me a diet coke at 6:55 am to comfort my aching heart. I know a lot has to do with the outrageous amount of hormones raging through my body which is causing the constant nausea but the thought of a teenage daughter isn't helping to much. It won't be long and I won't be sending her away for a weekend trip with her dad...but sending her away to college!! The thought of that caused my tears to reappear. So with that I want you all to know how much I love that little girl who is growing way to fast and most importantly I hope she knows I love her more than life itself!!!